Well, it's been a hot minute. I'm still technically mostly on hiatus, trying to get to a better place. Be warned I'm about to talk about some heavy stuff.
A lot has happened... but I'll try to sum it up here:
- I made some poor choices and that hurt me financially. I'm still trying to dig out.
- My mom passed away in 2022. This knocked me sideways VERY hard. It affected all of us, especially dad; trying to be a support for him while I was reeling too was probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I missed a LOT of work time as a result, as my mental state was akin to a puff pastry - breaking apart at the slightest disturbance.
- I've learned something new about a lot of my life's struggles up to this point: I'm suspected ADHD. Many things clicked into making sense for me: past struggles, behaviors, tendencies and even my perspective. We suspect mom was ADHD, too.
- Last year, towards the end of it, my financial troubles caught up hard (from all of the above), so imagine my shock when a huge shift happened at the turn of the year.
- This year I started a new position at my workplace, going from hourly to salary. It was a much different mode of working, and so much to take in that I went into panic attacks several times since; 1.5 months into it... my responsibilities shifted significantly and now I'm directly reporting to the company president. It's stressful a lot of the time and takes up considerably more headspace and my hours get weird... at least it staved off the financial noose I was headed towards; I'm hoping to negotiate a pay bump with the shift of responsibilities soon-ish, which will essentially put me on track to start digging out of my hole.
Against the backdrop of all that, I'm honestly quite surprised I managed to release a piece this year; it's the first completion since January 2020 (you can sort of tell what kind of state of mind I was in by the description I put along with it, it's a miracle.)
Welp, this was going to be short, so much for that haha... I marked the post as Mature since there's some heavy stuff here. I have no ETA on my return to regular music-making, but I can promise I'll still tinker around behind the scenes now and then, hopefully getting a piece here and there to completion for your enjoyment!
Until the next update!